How Time Flys or Tempus Fidgets

So, yes, it's been a very long time since I had anything to say here. As I start typing I am thinking that this will be a short one but who knows once I get started.

There are a variety major events that fall into lives and mark beginnings or endings. Birth, of course.  I don't remember anything about mine but without it there wouldn't be any blog at all, now would there? Not all events are universal. The first one I have a clear memory of occurred on April, 9, 1947. Yes, I'm that old, what did you think? I was about 2 1/2 weeks shy of my 5th birthday. (Now you know exactly how old.) It was before severe weather forecasting, before anyone we knew had a TV, and before tornado sirens. It blew a fair amount of Woodward, Oklahoma, my hometown, away including the roof of our house on Webster St which came off as Dad, holding my hand, and Mom, carrying my baby sister, crossed the front porch trying to reach what Dad hoped was the safety of a depression in the vacant lot across the street. I think that storm blew away any memories I had before that because that's where it all starts for me. There were minor events over the following years but graduating from High School, a first marriage, the births of two great children, the job that became a career, a divorce, second marriage (finally got it right) that came with another great kid and the birth of the last child all were the kind of milestones you think of as major life events. Those were followed by the deaths within two consecutive years of my first son and my parents. Those were hard to deal with for a long time. That pain was somewhat eased because my sisters and I decided to keep the country house and 95 acres that our folks retired to because for twenty five years it had been the one place the family gathered. We did it usually for a week in the Spring and at the Fourth of July and for Thanksgiving. After they were gone we kept the house as it was and kept gathering there for another about seventeen years.

As we aged care and maintenance became more difficult so that the decision was made that we would have to sell. We emptied out the house, divided things up, and the place sold a week ago last Wednesday. I am grieving. The whole process has been difficult for me. I knew it would be but what I didn't expect was that the largest component of that grief is a sense of abandoning my parents. I know that doesn't make much sense but, there it is. As long as I could go to that house, sit at that table, play cards in that game room, I felt connected. Now I'm adrift and think that, for me, the only way I will ever get back to something remotely approximating stable is going to be to write about it. After all that's the way I deal with things. I will also try to get back to the other blog to write about writing but it may be a few more days before I can manage that.